Two years ago, Peter Barrett seemed well on his way to the UFC. Then he lost his first fight, and everything spiraled from there after the deaths of his younger brother and father in a matter of months. Barrett almost succumbed to the ensuing depression, but a wake-up call from his mother led him to get the help he needed. Now he’s back on the doorstep of the UFC, this time looking to seal the deal Tuesday night at Dana White’s Contender Series 26.

****

In early 2017, Peter Barrett was on top of the world. On the verge of a UFC contract, all eyes were on “Slippery Pete” entering his ninth professional MMA fight.

Through eight fights, the Sityodtong Boston product had looked indestructible. He was undefeated with seven stoppages. He brought attitude and excitement to the cage. Most importantly, he had the MMA skills to tie it all together.

On the drive to the arena before his ninth fight, Barrett received a phone call from one of his biggest supporters, his younger brother Christian. While Christian was out of state and unable to attend, he wanted to say he’d be watching the fight that would likely propel Barrett to the UFC.

“I had a nice, long conversation with him about the fight,” Barrett told MMA Junkie ahead of Tuesday’s appearance at Dana White’s Contender Series 26. “About how he was going to have 10-15 guys over at his house in Florida to stream the fight over FloCombat.”

In a shocking upset, Barrett was finished by 6-4 fighter Drew Morais in less than 2 minutes’ time. Some argued the stoppage was premature. But early or not, the defeat halted Barrett’s UFC dreams.

Little did Barrett know, two much bigger losses were right around the corner.

‘Terrible things come in threes’

Peter Barrett and his dad. (Photo courtesy of Peter Barrett)

The defeat to Morais happened on June 17, 2017. Seventeen days later, on the 4th of July, Barrett received a life-altering phone call: Christian died from an accidental fentanyl overdose.

The conversation the two had on the way to the arena was the last time they ever spoke.

Barrett was devastated.

“My little brother looked up to me like I was Superman,” Barrett said. “I could do no wrong in his eyes. I was one of his biggest heroes. It just rocked my world when I got up that morning. I think I cried for like a week straight.”

Two months after the passing of his brother, life’s unforgiving nature struck again as Barrett found his father dead at home from an apparent heart attack.

He couldn’t believe it.

“Losing my first fight in (expletive) four or five years, that’s enough to re-analyze things,” Barrett said. “Then I lost my brother. Then I lost my dad. Terrible things come in threes, I guess. It was a whole lot of loss I wasn’t prepared to deal with.”

Instead of taking the time needed to recuperate, Barrett felt internally obligated to push through tough times instead of addressing it. At Cage Titans 36 in November 2017, Barrett suffered his second pro loss – this time via arm-triangle choke.

“I just thought, ‘Fight. If you take a fight, you’re going to be healthy. You’re not going to (expletive) around. You’ll clean everything up,’” Barrett said.

“There was just a whole lot of moving parts I wasn’t prepared for. I thought, ‘Just fight. Keep fighting. That’s what you do. That’s what you know. That’s what gets you through everything.’”

‘Packies,’ nips and self-medication

Peter Barrett at Cage Titans 44. (MRG Photogaphy)

One of 10 siblings, Barrett is the second oldest. As a result, Barrett felt if anyone had to stay strong in the face of tragedy, it was him. Barrett’s self-imposed sense of responsibility to “be OK” only made things worse. Soon after, Barrett turned to alcohol to get him through.

“In reality, there was a lot of self-medicating behind the scenes that not everybody was aware of,” Barrett said. “I just wasn’t in a good place. Through all of this, I continued to fight thinking this was the right thing to do. I went from 8-0 to now at 10-3 over the course of the last two years.”

The day-to-day for Barrett was exceedingly unproductive. He lost focus of his UFC aspirations and lounged around the house. Some days, Barrett would stay in bed until 1 o’clock. On weekends, he worked as a bartender but had no other source of income at that time.

Though he was still training, it was not with the same vigor as before. However, Barrett was able to mask his emotions and the hurt he felt inside.

He was still hitting the gym. He was still training. His teammates weren’t able to see the depression behind his toothless smile.

“I’d stop at the packy on my way out, or on my way home I’d grab a couple of nips,” Barrett said. “My coaches saw me as training. My teammates saw me as training. But I was doing a really good job hiding the hurt and the drinking. I was just trying to numb a lot of it out.”

The comedowns were harsh. Everything seemed great when ethanol was running through his bloodstream. But when he’d sober up, his problems would still be there – only magnified.

“You think you’re numbing it out, but all you’re doing is making everything worse,” Barrett said. “It felt good not to feel a lot when I was drinking, but then you come back to reality. You realize you feel like a piece of (expletive) when you drink for two days straight and realize you have all those same emotions that didn’t go anywhere.”

Mom knows best

Peter Barrett at Cage Titans 44. (MRG Photography)

As Barrett’s direction strayed further off course, his mother took notice. One day, she decided to let her son know how she felt. As Barrett was watching movies on his couch, his mother entered the room and spoke her truth.

Barrett recalled his mother’s words:

“‘What are you doing? Do you ever plan on fighting again? Because if you’re not going to be a fighter, you can’t just continue living this life as a bartender working weekends and not doing anything all week long. You’ve got college degrees. If you’re not going to be fighting, you need to go get a job. You need to get your life together. And if you are going to fight, then you need to get your (expletive) ass in the gym, quit (expletive) around, and take this (expletive) seriously. We’re not going to sit around and watch you drink your life away with the idea you might get back in the gym, and you might fight again.’”

It was time to get help, and Barrett knew it. He began to research therapists in the area and eventually zoned in on one. He credits the decision for saving his career.

“Us fighters, to group us all together, we’re not the most normal individuals sort to say,” Barrett said. “… You can go talk to anybody, but unless you have someone who resonates with your views and your approach to life, it could all be for nothing. … I’m fortunate enough to get connected with a gentleman that helped me focus on what was important.

“Putting one foot in front of the other, I quit drinking. I stopped in January, and that gave me the opportunity to focus on being healthy and becoming the best version of myself. I have my girlfriend to thank for that. She was a big advocate and let me know I was dropping the ball and letting people down. Not being who she knew I could be.”

Structure, opportunity and a platform

Peter Barrett at DWCS 26 weigh-ins. (John Morgan-MMA Junkie)

Every morning, Barrett wakes up at 4 in the morning to make the one-hour commute to Sityodtong for training. Four days a week, he’ll leave practice and head an hour to work evenings at his family’s restaurant, “Barrett’s Ale House” in West Bridgewater, Mass.

“I sling drink on the weekends and dodge punches during the week,” Barrett laughed.

On the verge of his dream job, Barrett (10-3) will compete against Sang Hoon Yoo (5-0) on the series finale of Dana White’s Contender Series on Tuesday. The Massachusetts native has won two out of his last three fights, while living a highly structured lifestyle of a bartender.

“I don’t deserve anything. I’m going to go in there and earn it for 15 minutes if it takes me that long to prove to Dana White and Sean Shelby I’m their next rising star,” Barrett said. “I’m the next one that they can put their brand on. They can put their company on my shoulders and watch me soar.”

A self-described practitioner of “highly calculated violence,” Barrett hopes to use his DWCS platform to inspire others battling depression. The 33-year-old lightweight advocates for the importance of seeking help during trying times.

“Just ask for help,” Barrett said. “Nobody likes to talk about depression. It’s a silent killer. The statistics for people who deal with it are ridiculous. My situation could blow someone’s mind. Like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe that I’m depressed. But he went through that and got his life together.’

“What it comes down to is a matter of perspective. It doesn’t matter what your issues are. If you’re depressed regardless, imperatively across the board, you need to be able to speak up and get some help with it. It’s all a matter of perception. That’s what’s important. There are many people out there to help. From friends to family to therapists and professionals. But the first step is realizing it and reaching out for help.”